{"id":7721,"date":"2025-03-27T03:14:07","date_gmt":"2025-03-27T03:14:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/?p=7721"},"modified":"2025-04-14T02:37:21","modified_gmt":"2025-04-14T02:37:21","slug":"the-boring-guide-to-being-just-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/2025\/03\/27\/the-boring-guide-to-being-just-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"The boring Guide to being Just Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Describing my experience<\/kbd><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n

“Growing up, she\u2019d learned that unless she absolutely had no choice, it was<\/em> easier not to ask her parents to do anything for her or on her behalf. When she<\/em> needed them to step up and do things like come to parent-teacher meetings,<\/em> her mom would tell Hailey she \u201cowed her\u201d or that she didn\u2019t want to but she<\/em> would. <\/em>“<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Pg 34<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
I’m not usually a fan of romantic comedies, but I do love a good romance novel. As we discussed in my last post, I always try to find identification with the characters to feel a sense of comfort in the books I read. When I started this one, I was immediately drawn to the main character, Hailey. She’s a strong, independent woman who had the courage to walk away from a toxic relationship and start fresh by building her own salad business from the ground up. Her resilience and determination made her an inspiring and relatable protagonist, which made me connect with the story even more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then there’s Jansen, who fits the classic romance novel guy, charming, successful, and deeply involved in his family\u2019s business. His dynamic with Hailey is engaging, and their chemistry is amazing.  At least for the beginning of the story. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Classification and features of my experience<\/kbd><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
As I mentioned before, at the beginning of the book, I was trying to connect with Hailey, and at times, I still found myself relating to her. But as the plot developed, we got to know more about James. Oh boy, James. Let me tell you, I cannot stand this character. He started off as this amazing guy, but the more I keep reading, he completely disappointed me. In my opinion, he turned into a total jerk, acting like he was too cool to be in a serious relationship. His attitude felt frustrating, especially compared to how he was initially portrayed. I think he made me experience a kind of character technology that isn\u2019t really defined in our glossary. I\u2019ve been thinking about it, and I\u2019m not exactly sure what to call it, but basically, he ended up revealing his true colors, showing a version of himself that was completely different from what I expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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“The women he did like were going to become friends with the woman<\/em> who didn\u2019t like him. Perfect.<\/em>“<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Pg. 27<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
The thing about James is that he was so caught up in his own problems, pointless and ridiculous ones, if you ask me, that he couldn\u2019t even take the time to acknowledge his own feelings or anyone else’s feelings. He didn\u2019t even believe in relationships, which made his behavior even more frustrating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
“I never wanted to be in love. From what I\u2019d heard, what I\u2019d seen with my<\/em> brothers, it was the equivalent of jumping out of an airplane with a chute<\/em> you\u2019re only hopeful will work. There are no guarantees. Those three words<\/em> seemed more like a watered-down farewell than an expression of how the<\/em> other person alters someone\u2019s life just by being part of it. My father would<\/em> say it to calm my mother and his subsequent wives and girlfriends, appease<\/em> them. My mother says it so often at the end of a conversation, I\u2019ve heard her<\/em> say it to her hairdresser and masseuse. I\u2019m not even sure if she knows she\u2019s<\/em> saying it or if it\u2019s just habit. So how meaningful can they be?\u201d<\/em> -James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Pg. 277<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
I think what I experienced while reading this book was catharsis because it left me feeling both frustrated and mad at the same time. There were moments when I had to stop reading because James\u2019s behavior was just that infuriating. It\u2019s not that he did anything terribly wrong, he just didn\u2019t care about anything, not even Hailey. His indifference made it even more frustrating to watch their story unfold. I think the worst part was that Hailey felt the same way, she didn\u2019t care, or at least she pretended really well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Narrative Technology<\/kbd><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The narration alternated between both characters’ perspectives or as we like to call to the shifting eyes voice, which is usually interesting because it allows you to see how each of them feels. I think that was one of the few things I actually liked about this book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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\u201cThey mean I\u2019m vulnerable. I run the risk of you<\/em> hurting me or worse, me hurting you. But the reward of owning them, of<\/em> telling you every single day that I love you, that I will always love you, well,<\/em> that\u2019s like nothing I\u2019ve ever known. I want to weather hard times and argue<\/em> over which version of Overboard is better. I want to spend my life with you,<\/em> accepting you and loving you for exactly who you are. And nothing could be<\/em> scarier than the thought that I\u2019ve missed my chance. That I\u2019m too late.\u201d<\/em> -James<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Pg. 278<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
This book also had a lucky twist at the end for both characters, but honestly, I think that’s what made me like the book less than I expected. Both characters end up falling in love, what a surprise. To be honest, I found the plot tiring and annoying. It felt like they both spent the entire story acting like they were too busy for each other and decided to just be friends. Then, somehow, magically, they end up falling in love by the end. It felt predictable and just another boring modern love story with nothing new or exciting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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She threw her arms around him, hugged him tightly as she kissed his neck.<\/em> \u201cI love you, too. And you know me well enough to know I\u2019m a big fan of the<\/em> phrase \u2018better late than never.\u2019\u201d<\/em> With his arms wrapped around her, the music still on the same song, and<\/em> the lights dancing in the early dusk, Hailey no longer wondered what happily<\/em> ever after looked like. It would look like whatever they made it, together.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
Pg 281<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
When I was reading this draft to edit it, I realized it was one of the most boring things I had ever written. I turned to my book and started going through my highlighted quotes and notes, hoping to find something interesting, but nothing caught my attention. I felt disappointed in myself. It\u2019s rare that I don\u2019t enjoy reading, but I guess this book was one of those exceptions. When I looked up reviews, I saw that many people felt the same way I did. The main issue is that the plot is extremely predictable, which in itself is frustrating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Days have passed since I last looked at the draft, and after adding a few more passages, I think I\u2019ve finally figured out why I didn\u2019t enjoy this book. As I mentioned before, I felt frustrated for most of the time. At first, I thought I was going to identify with Hayley, but that only lasted for a few pages. Once that connection faded, it left me feeling like I had lost a sense of control as a reader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With James, I kept hoping he would grow, become a better person for her, but that obviously didn\u2019t happen. Instead, he just started telling her he loved her, without showing any real change or growth. I guess I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope they\u2019ll become better, but that never happened in this story, and it left me feeling frustrated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Work Cited<\/kbd><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Experiences Glossary \u2013 Story & The Brain<\/em>. https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/experiences-glossary\/<\/a>. Accessed 28 Mar. 2025.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technologies by Element of Narrative \u2013 Story & The Brain<\/em>. https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/technologies-by-element-of-narrative\/<\/a>. Accessed 28 Mar. 2025<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sullivan, S. (2023). A guide to being just friends<\/em>. St. Martin’s Griffin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Featured Image <\/kbd><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Cover of A Guide of Being just Friends. Griffin. All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Describing my experience “Growing up, she\u2019d learned that unless she absolutely had no choice, it was easier not to ask her parents to do anything for her or on her behalf. When she needed them to step up and do things like come to parent-teacher meetings, her mom would tell Hailey she \u201cowed her\u201d or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":790,"featured_media":7801,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"portfolio_post_id":0,"portfolio_citation":"","portfolio_annotation":"","openlab_post_visibility":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[208],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-plot","has-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/790"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7721"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7986,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7721\/revisions\/7986"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unewhavendh.org\/story-and-the-brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}