As I was trying to think of which book I wanted to read, given the infinite possibilities, I gravitated towards YouTube. Due to me being highly indecisive, I found myself typing ‘book recommendations’ in the search engine and my quest began from there. It was a rather short quest, however, as I found myself viewing this video that showcased a list of mystery and thriller books. All of them seemed interesting based on the title, but as I read the comments, many were pointing out one specific book – The Silent Patient. The comments were all agreeing on how they personally enjoyed reading it. There were also a few that mentioned how it ‘changed their lives’. Others were mentioning how the book had such a good plot twist at the end, which only added to their overall experience.
Due to this overwhelming majority of commenters enjoying the book, I began to get curious and read the synopsis. The plot seemed really straightforward: a woman kills her husband, but no one knows why; but, a psychotherapist makes it his mission to solve this mystery. I was inspired by the commenters on that YouTube video and interested in the synopsis, prompting me to choose this book for my next experience.
Describing my Experience
From what I have read so far – I currently have about 60 pages left – I honestly felt disconnected and overall dissociated throughout the book, especially in Parts 1 & 2 (for context, the book is split up into Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, which have chapters within them). The book generally felt really slow to me. Maybe I was impatient because I was eagerly waiting for the mystery to unravel itself, but after we are told a brief backstory of how Alicia (whose story we are following) kills her husband, we are at a standstill for nearly the entire middle section of the book. I think this was due to us following the narrator, Theo, who is Alicia’s psychotherapist, for the majority of the book. I felt that we learned too much backstory of him and his life rather than focusing on Alicia. And when the story turns its focus on Alicia, we are either met with silence, or the past version of her; the one who wrote in her diary and journaled her day-to-day feelings and thoughts. And because there were many questions going unanswered, curiosity came to light a multitude of times, as I am constantly trying to picture the various scenarios that would explain why Alicia would want to kill her husband with each new piece of information we learn.
Classifying My Experiences
Theo is a character I find interesting because he is somewhat hard to read. He is trying to figure out why Alicia killed her husband, or if she was even the one to commit the crime, through therapy. Since the murder, which occurred 6 years prior to the present day of the book, Alicia has gone silent. She hasn’t spoken since the day of the murder, and has mentally deteriorated since then due to the high doses of medication she is receiving at The Groove – the facility where Alicia is being held and where Theo works. The story mainly follows Theo’s life and his point of view of the story. I think this is what contributed to my overall initial disconnection from the book (so far).
Honestly, I don’t like Theo. There is something about his character that just gives me a vibe that he doesn’t have the right intentions with Alicia. By this point in the book, he has not done anything inappropriate or generally wrong with her. It’s just, he’s so fixated on “fixing” her that I feel that he has some underlying reason why he’s so adamant on helping her; whether it’s with good or bad intentions. Because I am confused and distrust Theo, I feel that I can’t connect with him; and because he is the narrator and practically the main character, I don’t feel as connected to the book either.
My skepticism of Theo began midway into the book. He did not have the best upbringing, and due to his traumatic childhood, he sought therapy in his teen years. This would then influence him to become a psychotherapist himself. We continue to learn of his personal life, such as his wife of 9 years. Kathy and Theo had met while they were both with their respective partners at the time. But Theo recounts it as ‘love at first sight’ with Kathy.
‘”Anyway I was seeing this Australian guy called Daniel. But he didn’t want to get married or have kids anytime soon, so I knew I was wasting my time. And we were out one night when suddenly it happened—Mr. Right walked in.” Kathy looked at me and smiled and rolled her eyes. “With his girlfriend.”
This part of the story needed careful handling to retain her audience’s sympathy. Kathy and I were both dating other people when we met. Double infidelity isn’t the most attractive or auspicious start to a relationship, particularly as we were introduced to each other by our then partners. They knew each other for some reason, I can’t remember the precise details—Marianne had once gone out with Daniel’s flatmate possibly, or the other way around. I don’t remember exactly how we were introduced, but I do remember the first moment I saw Kathy. It was like an electric shock. I remember her long black hair, piercing green eyes, her mouth—she was beautiful, exquisite. An angel.
At this point in telling the tale, Kathy paused and smiled and reached for my hand. “Remember, Theo? How we got talking? You said you were training to be a shrink. And I said I was nuts—so it was a match made in heaven.”
This got a big laugh from the girls. Kathy laughed too and glanced at me sincerely, anxiously, her eyes searching mine. “No, but … darling … seriously, it was love at first sight. Wasn’t it?”
This was my cue. I nodded and kissed her cheek. “Of course it was. True love.”This received a look of approval from her friends. But I wasn’t performing. She was right, it was love at first sight—well, lust anyway. Even though I was with Marianne that night, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Kathy. I watched her from a distance, talking animatedly to Daniel—and then I saw her lips mouth, Fuck you. They were arguing. It looked heated. Daniel turned and walked out.’
He then proceeds to cheat on his then-girlfriend, with Kathy. Once I learned this, that’s when I began to grow an overall dislike for Theo as I have a general bias against cheaters.
‘We lay there wrapped in each other’s arms. Kathy was facing me, her eyes so close they were out of focus. I gazed into a hazy green sea. “Well?” she said.
“Well?”
“What about Marianne?”
“Marianne?”
A flicker of a smile. “Your girlfriend.”
“Oh, yes. Yes.” I hesitated, unsure. “I don’t know about Marianne. And Daniel?”
Kathy rolled her eyes. “Forget Daniel. I have.”
“Have you really?”
Kathy responded by kissing me.
Before Kathy left, she took a shower. While she was showering, I phoned Marianne. I wanted to arrange to see her, to tell her face-to-face. But she was annoyed about the previous night and insisted we have it out then and there, on the phone. Marianne wasn’t expecting me to break up with her. But that’s what I did, as gently as I could. She started crying and became upset and angry. I hung up on her. Brutal, yes—and unkind. I’m not proud of that phone call. But it seemed like the only honest action to take. I still don’t know what I could have done differently.’
To add on, it would also be the little way he would word things. And because he would word many comments uniquely, I grew cautious of him. Why “fix” Alicia rather than help and treat her? I also began to wonder if he had a deep infatuation with Alicia that was induced by love. Before ever learning that Theo was married, I thought he was secretly in love, obsessed even, with Alicia, wanting to get as close as he could to her. And even after learning of Kathy, I would still continue to wonder these same thoughts; I think it’s the way Theo is so engulfed by Alicia and her story.
‘The painting is a self-portrait, depicting Alicia in her studio at home in the days after the murder, standing before an easel and a canvas, holding a paintbrush. She is naked. Her body is rendered in unsparing detail: strands of long red hair falling across bony shoulders, blue veins visible beneath translucent skin, fresh scars on both her wrists. She’s holding the paintbrush between her fingers. It’s dripping red paint—or is it blood? She is captured in the act of painting—yet the canvas is blank, as is her expression. Her head is turned over her shoulder and she stares straight out at us. Mouth open, lips parted. Mute.’
It could be that Theo is an observant person, but the way he notices such intricate details of Alicia, reminds me of the way he would describe someone he loves, such as Kathy.
‘That night was the most erotic, blissful night of my life. I spent hours exploring Kathy’s body. We made love all night, until dawn. I remember so much white everywhere: white sunlight creeping around the edges of the curtains, white walls, white bedsheets; the whites of her eyes, her teeth, her skin. I’d never known that skin could be so luminous, so translucent: ivory white with occasional blue veins visible just beneath the surface, like threads of color in white marble. She was a statue; a Greek goddess come to life in my hands.
Features That Prompted My Experience (Two-thirds of the way through)
From where I am in the book, I feel that I am missing key experiences. If I could figure out that I am completely wrong about Theo and was just overanalyzing unimportant things in the story, I would be at ease. But with this sense of distrust in Theo, I feel that a narrative without core values prevails through. As I’m not sure about the author’s intentions, I feel that we are not supposed to fully trust Theo, or maybe even some of the other characters, such as Yuri – the head psychiatrist nurse at The Groove, who’s really sweet. This book is a mystery and does keep you guessing about so much all at once. And with each advancement into the story, the more questions get answered and the closer you are to the truth. But with this, our initial trust in characters begins to take rise as well. And from where I currently am, Theo is getting close – and we can both feel it.
I feel that the sense of suspense has not been lingering around either. As we gradually received some answers to some important questions, instead of suspense, disappointment would be the one that arrived instead – at least for me. It seemed that a circle was forming, especially when we learn of such a huge setback in the story.
Theo did succeed in one thing: getting Alicia to speak. Alicia spoke to Theo during one of their sessions, and would share her story at a comfortable pace. Then one day, Alicia was sharing what happened the night she killed her husband. Theo had some clarifying questions, but decided to wait until the next day so as not to push her. Well, the next day, Alicia was in the hospital for a drug overdose, causing her to be in a coma that she is not expected to come out of. There is speculation that this was attempted murder rather than self-inflicted.
And this is where I stopped reading – I was so upset. It seemed that Alicia was constantly met with disappointment and failure throughout her life, and now she is on the brink of death due to a third party. I actually felt bad for Theo too, since he was so close, and made such great progress with Alicia just for something very unfortunate to occur. I can only hope for a pivot into positive emotion to occur as I was not expecting this setback. And as ironic as this might be, I hope that I am wrong about Theo. I hope that he has good intentions with Alicia and is figuring out this question of why she killed her husband for everyone’s benefit, and not for a sadistic, underlying reason that is yet to be revealed.
Features That Prompted My Experience – After Finishing the Book
Wow. I now understand why I had such a strong dislike for Theo. It would turn out that he was the one to fail Alicia; to guide her in the position that landed her in The Groove in the first place; and to cause her to be in a coma. Weeks before Alicia murdered her husband, she felt that someone was watching her. Alicia saw see a man outside her window, but moments later, he vanished. Simultaneously, Theo found out that Kathy had been cheating on him with a man he did not know. After finding out of her infidelity, he followed Kathy and the mystery man. Theo found out where the man lived, and saw he was married as well. Theo continued to follow the man, constraining himself from harming him. Theo even watched the man’s house, even when he knew he was with Kathy.
Kathy’s mystery man: Alicia’s husband. The infamous night occurred differently now: Theo broke into Alicia’s home and tied her to a chair. Theo poured all his feelings out, including anger, to Alicia. The husband came home during this invasion, and Theo tied him up too. Theo manipulated Alicia into feeling the same emotions he was, graphically depicting the possibility that her husband does not love her and never will. Theo, with a gun, goes as far as letting the husband choose who is to die first: himself or Alicia.
The husband cowardly chooses Alicia. However, Theo doesn’t kill Alicia – he pretends to, then unties her, and flees. Alicia, having learned all this information, and being manipulated by Theo, picks up the gun and shoots her husband, killing him. This would prompt her to be admitted into The Groove, be sickly reunited with her stalker and enabler, and unfortunately end up in a comma after Theo injected her with a copious dose of medication.
I feel that I should’ve realized this sooner. Theo was acting as a secret discloser for the entirety of the book. He was sharing the story for Alicia and from his point of view, and I failed to see it. My feelings and doubts of Theo now makes sense as he is an untrustworthy narrator. Because the book was written, not only from his point of view, but also from someone who is initially seemingly innocent, we are supposed to feel that we can trust him. But as the book continued on, we see how that was never the case.
It was nice to see poetic justice for Theo as well as he got arrested after the authorities found Alicia’s diary in which she explained what happened, naming Theo. Although I did not initially connect with the book, the ending definitely made this rocky experience worthwhile.
Works Cited
Michaelides, A. (2019). The silent patient. Celadon Books.
Experiences Glossary. (n.d.). Story & the Brain. Retrieved February 23, 2025, from https://unewhavendh.org/story-and-the-brain/experiences-glossary/
Technologies by Element of Narrative. (n.d.). Story & the Brain. Retrieved February 23, 2025, from https://unewhavendh.org/story-and-the-brain/technologies-by-element-of-narrative/
Featured Image
Cover for The Silent Patient. Macmillan. All Rights Reserved.
