After reading Fair and Lovely<\/em> by Scaachi Koul, I was completely blown away. I had one of those moments where you need to sit and think for a while afterwards to properly process what you\u2019re feeling. As an English major, I have to read a lot for classes. I thought that by now I would feel less surprised by works like this, but my astonishment continues to be just as strong. Koul elicits gut-wrenching internal torment in a way that has you marveling in her technique. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I discovered this piece through my Narrative Nonfiction class, and it was actually my first taste of the genre. This piece is very narrative-heavy, with the author’s family members and herself being distinguished characters. This structure read through like a short story, which made my experiences similar to reading a piece of fiction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fair and Lovely<\/em> is a personal essay by Scaachi Koul, who is not an immigrant herself but is the child of Indian immigrant parents. This essay focuses on Koul\u2019s realization that colorism and racism heavily impacts her life. Within the narrative scenes of both India and Canada, the author learns that she both had disadvantages and privileges being both naturally Indian and somewhat white-passing. She also gains new and complex perspectives about race as she grows up and observes her young niece who has a different experience than her. Koul\u2019s essay is the first I\u2019ve seen go into depth of the nuance to colorism and racism. This surprised me, because it\u2019s not a topic I see talked about let alone written so well. Like Koul says towards the end of her story: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Our inability to talk about race and its complexities actually means our racism is arguably more insidious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Koul, page 73\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Above all, I was in awe<\/a> of Fair and Lovely<\/em>. As an English major, it\u2019s hard for me to read something this powerful and not feel like I was just hit by a bus. And then peel myself off the street to dissect it. I have never read anything before this that has so successfully captured a very complicated topic: A child of immigrant parents who is learning how to see herself and the world around her through the effects of generational and societal racism. Koul\u2019s narrative works with skillful potency. One large theme of the narrative’s arc is how she compares her race to her niece’s, in both the context of how they and their family view themselves and how the world sees them. This concept is constantly bouncing back and forth, and brings new and nuanced challenges while the characters visit India and come back to their home in Canada. This kept me on my toes the entire time while holding incredibly intense tension. Here\u2019s a quote I love about Koul\u2019s niece:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her race is the footnote instead of the title . . . her race seems tangential to her existence, hardly something she examines but, rather, something the rest of us have put under a microscope from the minute she started gestating in her mom\u2019s insides. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Koul, page 62<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Koul\u2019s niece, who is nicknamed Raisin, is half white. Raisin has pale skin, light brown hair, and blue eyes. But she also has Indian heritage and an Indian name. Koul realizes that Raisin\u2019s relationship with her race is all the different from her own. Earlier in the essay, Koul reflected on how overtly aware she was of her race even at an early age, but it didn\u2019t fully click with her until kids started to make racist comments to her which permanently soured her relationship with herself. Raisin being able to pass as white and live without much influence of her heritage means she didn\u2019t have to think about her race. However, Koul\u2019s Indian family praises Raisin for her desirable features. She has inherent privlege that Koul finds herself being envious of. Even within their own culture, Raisin is seen as being more “acceptable” for being lighter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This devastating realization sets readers up for an opportunity to observe<\/a>. In this moment, I felt like I took a mental back seat and watched the gears turn in the author’s brain to make sense of what she was realizing. This was her discovery of the kind of carnal presence colorism has, with a description of Koul\u2019s family wondering what Raisin will look like before birth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I was eighteen when she was born and I objectively knew whiteness wasn’t better, and yet, weren’t we lucky to have a little white girl whose life would never resemble our own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Koul, page 62<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n This is an incredibly uncomfortable truth, and I think that this level of detail and discomfort is what allows a broad audience to understand Koul\u2019s perspective. Being more personal in a piece like this creates more connection for the reader. The author mentions Raisin many times as a kind of anchor to the essay and a way to transition back into the personal narrative. Raisin functions as a kind of motif to further remind the audience of the nuances of race. I think that Raisin, above anything else in this essay, is the best way Koul conveys her message. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Understanding and Classifying my Experience<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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